According to Nicholas Sparks (American romance novelist), “Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.”
This quote has seen reoccurrences each year during Valentine’s Day. People who are in love make an effort to have time with their loved ones. Love is probably in the air and you can feel it.
However, if there are people like Nicholas Sparks, there are also people like Jon Stewart who states that Valentine’s Day is “…a manufactured day that really doesn’t mean anything.”
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7 Reasons Why People Hate Valentines Day
Valentine’s Day is one of the most loved occasions in the world, but it is also one of the most hated occasion. These are the 7 most common reasons why a lot of people also hate the day of hearts.
1. Spending (and expecting) too much on a date
Valentine’s Day is almost synonymous with “presents” because everyone (even singles) is expected to give and show off their love. Flowers, chocolates, and couple shirt demand will be skyrocketing this day, and with a huge markup on that.
People will also expect their partners to do something very special (like baking cookies, or taking them to movies). There are better ways to express love. Buying overpriced sweet products and manufactured love…might not be one of those.
2. Social pressure to participate
Those who don’t have a partner will find themselves being looked down upon by a lot of people. It’s a whole day reminder that you are alone today. Great!
3. Public places are jam-packed
UGH, I hate this the most! As a single or involved person, no matter what my relationship status, I always hate going out on v-day. Busy places are so draining. This might be the worst reason for a lot of people (single or in a relationship) too. Restaurants are full because of reservations, so you need to queue up to have a meal.
There are more people than usual in the streets and most of them are walking slowly and taking their time. Public utility transportations are full of couples that occupy the chairs, leaving singles standing. And last but not least, it is harder to navigate (in some places) because of the sudden influx of people.
4. Unnecessary spending of money
This is a given if you’re dating or even courting. Maybe I love precious money too much but I hate parting with it. For example, according to Investopedia, chocolate prices are always fluctuating, and consumers are not really aware of the price hike. This might be just a one-year expense, but it is still an unnecessary expense, and frugal people wouldn’t be happy with buying anything v-day related on v-day!
5. Meeting expectations every year
The same reason why I dread birthdays every year – because the moment I give that killer gift I have another year to think of something to top that gift. The pressure is on high especially on v-day. Hey, this is just the person you’re sleeping next to every night right? The pressure is on to excel. There are expectations that you will have to do something special for your partner because of the reason that its Valentine’s Day.
6. The people in relationships
OK this doesn’t mean that all people in a relationship are problematic during Valentine’s day. However, there are people who have been overexerting their expectations – flexing a bit much of their love muscle. They are the ones on Facebook going…on and on…bragging about their perfect love…YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. We’ve all seen it on our Facebook timelines.
7. The people without significant others
OK on the flip side, there are also singles who bring negativity to people who are genuinely celebrating the occasion because they are in love. I’ve been on both side of the fence. I hated some of the negative singletons in my life poking holes in my relationship or just playing the pity game.
Most of the negativities also happen on social media, just like the flexing and gloating. A lot of this toxicity actually happens around Valentine’s day and holidays.
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Free Things To Do On Valentines Day
There is a world of free activities out there. That’s why I decided to write 100 Free And Frugal Things To Do On Valentine’s Day, check out our complete list!
1. Stargazing / Sunset watching
One of the things you can do with your loved ones is to watch nature and be mesmerized by its beauty. Experiencing nature is free, and oftentimes, this is all that you need to have a romantic night. Enjoying companionship with simplicity are the true joys of life.
2. Give a massage
Another free activity is to give each other a free massage after a long day at work. You don’t have to be an expert in massages, just making your other person feel special is enough for them to appreciate you.
3. Get some rest
Even if it is not Valentine’s Day, make sure that both you and your partner are getting enough rest. Even sleeping like a log is a great way to spend Valentine’s Day together. Not to mention that sleeping is free.
4. Cook your own dinner
If the love bug ignites your romantic tendencies, you can still have your special dinner at home. Preparing your own food is cheaper, and in addition, you don’t even have to make additional spendings. Just make sure to enjoy your cooking time together.
5. Spend some quality time together
Money is not necessary to let someone know how you appreciate their presence in your life. The fact that you chose to spend Valentine’s Day with him or her should be enough. After all, the best experiences in life don’t always involve money.
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How We Celebrated Our Valentine Day
Not celebrating valentine’s day does not make me love my husband any less. There is no correlation between love and a specific, meaningless date.
Before I came into the relationship with my husband, I was a big o’ bag of sad and hubby picked me up off the cement sidewalk like an abandoned stray.
They are hands down the best years of my life thus far. No comparison.
My eyes glaze over at wedding and lovey-dovey things but I’m not a weirdo. I do like to look at other people’s joy and their committed love, a lot, but I just don’t understand why it’s worth the trouble for us personally. It’s just not for us.
I believe little gestures, done right, can mean a ton. This is how we spent our 3rd Valentine’s Day together.
Cooked a Great Meal at Home – $27.84
I finished up my Airbnb rounds. I played with Charlie (I pet sit for a rich family) while prepping ingredients for what I consider the best clam chowder recipe ever.
I also made some thai tea with sweetened condensed milk (Mark Wien’s blog, love him!) and boba pearls (soak boba pearls after cooking in real honey for an hour!! Makes all the difference in flavor.)
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Did Chores for Him – $0
We don’t separate out our chores. It’s really “which one of us has the time/energy to take this one now, and I’ll do the next one” switch-a-roo.
After 6 months of tracking our fights, I know our system could be more efficient but it works for now. I took the initiative and scheduled a few meetings with contractors without him. I washed and folded the laundry. Then I washed the dogs, took out the garbage bins and answered the messages he got on his LinkedIn account. I’m sometimes his secretary 🙂
Left Love Notes – $0
Well — I was supposed to write a bunch of sweet things on napkins and hide them in his pockets before he left for work…but we both overslept and I forgot. Then I remembered my conversation with my friend a few days ago where I said some very nice things about my husband, being married and loving him with all my…anyways, sap sap sappy sap stuff.
I talk to her on a mobile app called WeChat using the voice recording feature so all our audio conversations were saved. I forwarded my sap sap sappy sap recordings to my husband from the chat with my friend while hubby was at work instead of physical notes.
He was very flattered, so mission accomplished.
A Heartfelt Talk – $0
My husband and I married young. I was 23/24 when I married him and there was a lot of growing up I needed to do. Both of us needed to, but more so me.
As a person who got hitched at a young age, relationships are harder. It’s not about the chemistry between two people but more like you’re still in mid-development as a human being so chemistry can’t fix everything.
You need dedication too.
We just talked about the 3 years we’ve been together. I reflected on my many, many mistakes in life since we were on the topic of marriage. I’m far from the best wife but the comfort I get is trying to get better at being with him than the day before.
DIY Valentine Card – $0
He threw me a curveball. My husband made me a Valentine card from scratch randomly this year, on company time, while he was at work.
“Wait, how did you get material for this? Did you STEAL this? What??? Like…they have a craft table?”
“Actually yeah, craft table at work was out all week – I just didn’t see it.”
“There IS a craft table?!?”
“There’s heart stickers, craft scissors, and doilies…”
[Thinks] Wow he works in an adult kindergarten. That explains quite a lot.
Someone printed Valentine themed cartoons/memes and put it out on the crafts table for everybody. He saw this Seattle soda tax joke and thought of me so he took his lunch break to make it.
Bragged About Him to Everybody Reading This Article – Priceless!
That was #20 on the free things to do list. Check, check, triple check!
I guess what I’m trying to say is…give meaning to any day by living it with purpose and make your own rules on how to celebrate it. Happiness will follow.
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Ms ZiYou says
That card is adorable, you guys sound like a perfect match.
Ate a bunch of lucky charms as a kid, got lucky.
Mrs Adventure Rich says
Awww, I love it! Haha- the Seattle soda ban card is hilarious! Here’s to many more Valentines for you two! 🙂
Ms. Frugal Asian Finance says
Aww that is just too cute and special! It’s amazing Jared made a card for you. It’s so much more spec than store bought cards.
Mr. FAF ended up giving me V gift for the first time ever after us being married for 4 years. But I think it’s because we had a fight the day before V day, and it was totally his fault.
Lol spill! What was the fight? Why was it his fault? What did he get you?!
Budget on a Stick says
I can one up on the lame scale. We had frozen pizza and watched Supernatural on Netflix… I did give Ms. Blue Ribbon her holiday treat of an apple fritter.
LOL that’s the most random vday gift and sequence of events EVER.
Joe @ Retire by 40 says
You guys should go out this weekend. Going out on V day is horrible. The restaurants are always full of lovey dovey couples. Many restaurants have special V day menu now too. They sell prix fixe menu which is a good deal, but you just spend more overall.
We used to do more for V day, but this year we didn’t do anything. Our kid’s birthday is around this time and that’s central to our lives now. We’re all too busy too. I’m preoccupied with the rental… Hopefully, we can do more next year – 20th!
Spoken like a frugal king, the fixed meals are pricier. Ooh, next year is the big 20?! That’s huge!!!
The Luxe Strategist says
Sooooo sweet! I remember my husband’s first gift to me was a homemade birthday card. I cried when I opened it. Homemade stuff is the best!
Also, I want the Thai tea bubble tea, and I’ve totally been guilty of washing the straws and reusing them!
I didn’t meant this post as sweet but I guess it is ☺ what was the homemade gift?
The Physician Philosopher says
Sounds like you guys had a great time during Frugaltine’s Day.
My wife, un fortunately, loved Valentine’s Day… Or pretty much any other arbitrary holidays. She even went all out for the kids…. Of course, by all out, I mean like $30 for the three kids.
We did eat in, however. So saved some money there!
$30 for 3 kids isn’t bad in the least! What did she do?
Olivia @ Birds of a FIRE says
This is so cute! The homemade craft was the best. I’d like to work in a place that is an adult kindergarten lol. Also, you look so adorable in that box!
Thanks, it was pretty affordable for San Francisco
This was a really sweet post! I ended up having an argument with my partner on Valentine’s Day. We’re long-distance, so I got caught up with work and forgot to call him for 9 hours, my bad. But realizing it was a Valentine’s Day helped us make it up quicker. So I guess this “holiday” has some use/excuse, as you pointed out!
Aw that stinks! Long distances are hard work!
Amy @ Fivefeetsmall says
Great post FG! My husband and I are not big into this holiday either but always find small ways to celebrate 🙂
It’s the little things 🙂
Mrs. Picky Pincher says
Aww this is so sweet! And I don’t think it’s anti-Valentine’s Day at all. I think it’s anti-consumer-focused Valentine’s Day, which I’m all about. 🙂
Hubs and I also cooked a very fancy homemade dinner yesterday – beef tenderloin with mashed potatoes, salad, and plum cream cheese macarons (homemade!). We also opted for homemade gifts. I made hubs tea tree bath bombs, the macarons, and a huuuuuge paper chain with love notes. He rigged a cool storage space in the cabinet for my baking supplies and did a hand-cut origami piece with my initials (it’s seriously good – it looks laser cut, y’all).
Holy cow, that’s a list! And that’s not fancy?! People should hire you!
Passive Income M.D. says
Awww, super sweet post. I think all of us just want to feel like someone cares for us and doing something thoughtful means so much more. That chowder looks awesome, love chowder!
Who doesn’t love chowder!! 🙂
That’s a cool card he made for you. I made a few Valentine’s cards for Mother with Cents and turned out to be okay. It was before we had a kid but it feels more rewarding making it yourself than buying one from the store because it was created from scratch. Now I just try to make a card for Mother’s Day…hey it’s three months away, gotta start looking for ideas.
BTW, I didn’t know Jack in the Box had coupons! Haven’t been to one in a while, the curly fries and the sourdough Jack were my staples!!
Yum, I love sourdough jacks too! We get flyers in the mail every time they release a new product. We get it automatically but if you don’t you should sign up on their website for them…(but don’t quote me on that).
Financial Orchid says
This is really heartwarming. Thanks so much for sharing. Even with not a lot of money spent, anyone reading this can feel the tremendous love. #relationshipgoals
Sean @ Frugal Money Man says
I am definitely not one for personal celebrations as well.
It mind boggles me that the average U.S. wedding is now over $30,000. For literally only a 3-5 hour event…I actually had a friend recently tell me her friend’s wedding budget was $80,000!!! At that point, you are literally finding ways to spend (lose) your money.
Kudos to the clam chowder recipe! I tried making it once, but failed miserably haha. Also…The card is AWESOME! Husband for the WIN!
Omg, I had an entire rant about that but I deleted it!!! It was getting to long. I have a whole post about it.
I made a real cool presentation using my new skills with Canva and gave him chocolate bars I really hope he will share:)
He has a craft table at work???
Lol the foolproof gift is if you buy it for yourself xD
I once met a woman in her late forties that told me that she STILL regretted how much her and her husband spent on their wedding many years later because they were in such a different place financially than they would have been if they had gone for a more affordable ceremony. I didn’t ask how much they spent. I probably didn’t want to know!
Aw! Regrets like that happen all the time! It’s super normal. I do that at least once a week over some financial boo boo.
G. Brian Davis @ SparkRental says
I love this Lily! Way to practice both gratitude and frugality – two things sure to make you rich in more ways than one.
I made dinner for my wife (also of nearly 3 years!) at home as well, a four-course meal that would have cost us $150 at a restaurant but instead cost me about $25 (not including the wine, which I may have splurged on).
And hey, you gave me an idea for a new recipe to try, as I love seafood chowder but have never made it!
What was the 4 course of?! Details man! Details!!! 😉
Mrs. Groovy says
I hope you keep that card for a long time. And so sweet and smart of you for bragging about Jared and telling everyone how wonderful he is.
That chowder recipe looks delicious but I’d probably go nuts for anything with that much butter!
I didn’t tell you about the week before when he dipped into the emergency fund without telling me. Ouuu, there’s good times and then there’s bad times (for him) hahaha. The card is safely tucked away in our filing cabinet, with the mortgage papers 🙂
Mr. Groovy says
I have three things to say.
First, I totally agree with you about weddings. They don’t make any sense to me. Why do people insist on spending $30K for a 4-hour party?
Second, that Thai-tea + boba looks unbelievably good. That sugary concoction just made my bucket list.
Finally, third, I love the story behind you and Jared. It kind of reminds me of the story behind Mr. and Mrs. Groovy. I saved her from becoming a cat lady, and she saved me from starting the Long Island Militia. Isn’t love grand?
Hands down, this was the best Valentine story I read all week. Cheers.
Wait, Long Island Militia?! Lol! Awww that sounds cool though! Thanks for the laugh Mr. G! This was the best comment I got all week hahaha.