We’re all too social media crazy these days. It’s becoming such a norm you have to announce you’re off social media or else everyone assumes you’re automatically on the radar. If I wasn’t a blogger, I wouldn’t be caught as addicted to my Twitter, Instagram or my Pinterest as I am now, tee-hee.
It seems like every other post on the timeline is either passive-aggressive, braggy or overly dramatic relationship insights.
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Face Value on Facebook
Everyone can be naïve sometimes but I should get the first prize ribbon at the fair for my naïvety. My high school economics tutor once told me soy sauce was one of the ingredients in cupcakes and I totally believed him.
Equally stupid, for the longest time, I didn’t believe social media bragging existed.
In fact, I went to bat for that belief against one of my best friends.
One night my friend, Valerie, and I was waiting at a bus stop in San Francisco. I turned to ask her if she saw so-and-so’s latest update on such and such (I can’t even remember what it was.)
My friend assured me, “of course I did but you know everyone on Facebook is just hyping their best right? That’s all that is, hype.”
I thought she was trying to make both of us feel better about our miserable, poverty-stricken lives.
I replied with a serene innocence, “no they’re not. It really did happen ’cause look at the photos!”
“So? The entire thing is to show off dude.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t change the fact that they still did IT*“
*It as in skiing on a mountaintop, eating at a Las Vegas seafood buffet, getting hitched on the beach and so on.
“Trust me, it’s not what it seems.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
–Valerie rolls her eyes at me–
This is about as accurate of a recollection as I have for that conversation that happened 6 years ago.
Still you can see I was very naïve.
Remember I was just another lower-class kid, born and bred. Everyone in the free world seemed like they had it all figured out and I was at home playing Neopets on a dial-up modem. Facebook just reaffirms all of what I thought I was missing because of my personality and circumstances. From my last two years of high school to the first two years of college, I took all Facebook status updates for face value.
The photo proved to me that everyone else who had anything to show must have had lives filled with all that is rainbows and sparkles. You can see the uploads of after-school rendezvous, a weekend spa trip to Tahoe, a stupid amount of selfies and a lot of food.
I said to myself “wow, I have nothing good to show for my life but look at all the amazing things happening to my Facebook friends*!”
*the word ‘friends’ will be used loosely in this post.
I should have realized sooner this was Facebook. I know now that news on Facebook is different from the standard news off the grapevine.
News from Facebook is like a selfie. The entire picture has more than a few things omitted and other things enhanced.
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Finances on Facebook
The worldwide web didn’t exist 200 years ago, an individual’s reach was much smaller back then. Today, there are multiple platforms dedicated to just showing off, until indefinitely! I mean there was keeping up with the Joneses but now there’s keeping up with the Joneses, Smiths, Chongs, Cabrillos, Lars and 400 more whoever else on your timeline stream. Great.
Ever imagine what someone alive 200 years ago would think of us now?
“…folly of God harlot, covereth those bare ankles!”
But Facebook bragging is mostly harmless, right?
Nothing is harmless if there’s a reaction and/or action from it. That’s like one of the cause and effect principles of the Universe man.
I was inspired by this post by a friend who came public about her debt. She had her regrets about her closet, her vacations and even that pizza she posted on Instagram.
I’ll share a story with you on what I’ve observed about this Facebook financial puffery…
I think everyone deserves redemption but this case just happens to be my to-go example of financial Facebook stupidity.
Sit down boys and girls, and I’ll tell you a sad tale:
Candy (*ALIAS!) and her husband announced on Facebook they were at the Ford dealership shopping for a new car. Candy and her husband each already had cars but they, like so many Americans, wanted an upgrade.
Within a few hours, they were signing the papers on a new family size SUV. The SUV at the time of the purchase cost around $29,000 base, without any frills or add-ons.
Candy and her husband put down a small down payment then they took the rest as an auto loan at an affordable* 6.5% interest rate over the span of 60 something months.
*the word ‘affordable’ will be used loosely in this post.
All was fine, Candy and her husband drove out of the dealership with their nice car and 0% money down.
The new car smell blindsided the adults as they drove their new SUV away from the dealership. Don’t forget, like all new cars, their SUV automatically dropped 20% of its value as it left the lot.
Just a week later, Candy wrote an update about the size of the new car payment. I forgot the context but I remember thinking:
“Dang girl, I didn’t know you could get buyer’s remorse that fast.”
Gee, they seemed so happy about it before, posting pictures of the leather interior etc.
I didn’t know their situation and we were only friends by mutuality so I scrolled past her car updates with my finger and forgot about it.
Fast forward to a few months back AND lo-and-behold, she wrote out a massive rant on Facebook explaining in how much she hated their monthly payments on the almost $30,000 new splurge.
Not Just Her!
A lot of people, millennials too, are just too enamored with the wealth and comfort of the upper-middle class. There’s nothing particularly wrong with wanting to look like you can afford the dream lifestyle. It makes you a normal person.
Candy was not after ostentatious wealth but more like a “comfortable Sunday brunch in Lululemon pants“ lifestyle.
One can’t fault her for that, it’s very, VERY common, I see it all the time. It is merely the trap of keeping up with appearances and trying to keep up with the Joneses (of Facebook).
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The Facebook Feud
Candy wall of text mentioned some background drama between her and another Facebook girl. I believe what happened was that her Rival (another schoolmate of ours) brought a new car and received something like 100+ likes on Facebook. Candy then did the same and only got 40 likes on her new car announcement on Facebook.
Well! That explains why her car regret was so instantaneous after just a few days.
That’s the biggest kicker to me here.
Can’t we just accept that we’re a bunch of boring, poor people compare to the Kardashians?
What in the world did the other Facebook girl do and who cares how many likes she had in her car vs yours? Here’s to another XX something years left on that expensive metal money sucker when her older car worked! It was a frugal clunker, hardworking and most of all…not DEBT INDUCING!
The span of Candy and her husband’s $29,000 + 6.5% interest rate spur of the moment purchase has a total internet likes of 15 minutes before it’s forgotten.
She had like 40 likes on her new car announcement, right? Candy and her family paid $29,000 for it on a 6.5% interest loan at the standard 60-month repayment. The car is worth $20,000 at best now and they knocked back less than $3,000 off the principle.
(In fancy words, the car is underwater.)
For the life of their car loan, Candy and her family will be paying at least a total of $35,000 back.
She received 40 likes or so on her Facebook car status to show off that “lifestyle” against her rival.
$35,000 ÷ 40 = $875
She paid $875 per Facebook ‘Like.’
Let that sink in.
She paid $875 per Facebook ‘Like’ to be given a flip.
Now technically, she could have just kept her old yet almost paid off car, and not upgraded if she wasn’t so keen on showing off her new ride (and then lamenting about it oddly enough.)
I think making that upgrade for $875 PER Facebook “like” is a strong argument of how Facebook can destroy your finances. We’re the Instagram glued in generation sadly.
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Public Service Announcement
Don’t try to look rich, no one actually cares.
Let me repeat…
No. One. Cares.
And definitely not as much as you think they do. People only care as a response to themselves so what you’re doing is irrelevant because the bottom line is up to them.
Never base the reason behind purchases on social media or someone else.
This just spells trouble. I firmly believe Facebook (and other social media outlets) changes our choice as consumers.
Example: a Starbucks latte looks better in my hands if I got the bigger size – and the larger size latte would complement the shade of my nails if I got them salon-done instead of doing it sloppily myself.
See what I mean? It’s an expense snowball and not the debt crushing kind. Think of decision-making like a scale and you weigh the sides. How much should having bragging rights on Facebook weigh?
Comparisons made on social media is unfair to yourself and others. People care only as an extension of themselves. Comparisons made on social media is unfair to you and anyone involved. For the most part, everyone goes online to brag or vent and you’re getting maybe 10% of the reality they’re presenting.
Rarely do we get a full glimpse because after all, who wants to air out their pain when they could show off their joy instead?
Don’t take it so seriously.
You are too blessed to be stressed. When you stop caring about what others think of you the freer you will feel. If it’s hard, I would just uninstall the entire sha-bang or at least greatly reduce the time spent on the platform. I stopped using Facebook for a good few months now and I thought I would miss it after a week of swearing off but to my surprise, not at all!
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Lance @ My Strategic Dollar says
Such an honest and AWESOME post. I know tons of people that I feel like post on FaceBook just to brag about the things they’re doing or have so this post makes a ton of sense.
I just don’t understand this obsession with making people think you’re cool. It’ll be the death of society.
Thanks Lance! Nope, it doesn’t look good huh?
Grant @ Life Prep Couple says
It is a crazy world out there in social media land. I have a good friend who constantly calls to tell me about miserable he is in his marriage but on his Facebook it is all “love you babe” and “best wife ever”. It is truly shocking what people will do to keep up an image.
Here is the thing people need to also realize is that all that stuff won’t make you happy anyway. I love the study about lottery winners who after six months are no happier then they were before winning. Hedonic treadmill type thing.
Yes! I know some couples like that as well! I’ve heard of that study before Grant! And how most lottery winners lose their fortune within a year.
Maruska Ehrensdorfer says
If you know what to spend your money on (such as life enhancing experiences, travel and making precious memories with loved ones) then winning the lottery DOES make you happier. AND spending that money on much needed healthcare that you couldn’t otherwise afford. So yes, money DOES make your life easier and happier IF you can remain level-headed and not go on unnecessary spending sprees. And who the hell needs a new car? Cars are not assets; they are liabilities and require monthly expenses.
Ember @ An Intentional Lifestyle says
This is great! I have all but gotten off social media because of this. We don’t like to blow money, but comparison slips in when you’re looking through Facebook. Without even realizing it, you’re suddenly thinking about how to upgrade your house, car, wardrobe…kids, husband… just kidding. But seriously, even comparing our families causes such discontent in our hearts and lives.
Facebook is just the highlight reel. When we see the behind the scenes footage of our own lives in comparison, we will never be happy.
Stepping back from social media has led to much more contentment and happiness for our family.
“Facebook is just the highlight reel.”
Perfectly put Ember!!! Stepping back from social media (non-blog related) has made me happier too!
This is such a great post! I have a lot of friends who always seem to be traveling the world or backpacking through 20 countries. Meanwhile, I’m sitting in my cube and thinking, “Dang, how did you afford all that?” Everyone tries to put their best foot forward on social media because you WANT people to think you have your shit together.
On a side note, when Mr. NA and I go on vacation, I try to minimize the amount of photos I post because I don’t want people to be jealous. Does that make sense? We’re incredibly lucky to have good paying jobs, no kids, and relatively cheap rent for the Boston area. We prioritize travel over other things, and we’re able to do so without debt. But I know that not everyone can afford to do that, so I try not to rub it in people’s faces and make it awkward.
Ooh I didn’t know you and Mr. NA have the travel bug! Where do you guys go?
I know what you mean, it’s like stealth wealth. I blog semi-anonymously (I wouldn’t dream of telling my Facebook stream my finances even though we’re doing pretty OK.)
I think that’s why I give props to Janelle for tearing down some of her facade, and being honest, not many people do.
Keeping up with the Jones, Smiths, Lees, Kims, Johnsons, Nguyens…virtually. Great. The funny thing with me is that I want to keep up with the home DIYers when they post great projects they’ve completed. Nice case studies!
Haha ohhh those darn Kims! Hahaha thanks Darren.
Katy @ Best Life Kay says
Soooo topical right now! I read an article recently talking about how companies are turning the obsession with social media into profit. Think about Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino. It’s a smaller scale than a car or a house, but it adds up! Companies know that so many people will buy a $6 drink even if it’s gross, because it makes a good instagram…. that’s a scary amount of power they have over us.
Yes!! Like Starbuck’s pretty holiday design cups! They come out with new ones every year to make sure you buy the latest and greatest.
Mrs. Picky Pincher says
I … my brain. I’ve debated getting rid of Facebook, but I do like that it keeps me updated on births, weddings, deaths etc. It’s good to be in the loop. But I regret every time I go on there, because someone is doing something dumb. It’s just another avenue to spread senseless bile. I really hate when people use it to crowdfund trips to Europe or similar crud. Grah!
I have a Facebook account but I only log in once or twice a month for a few minutes. Usually the big news like births and weddings make it to my radar but that’s it.
If I stay any longer, it gets on my nerves! It’s usually something dumb…dumb as in (just off the top of my head) creating a GoFundMe hoping Internet strangers will donate enough money for a $2,000 drawing tablet. Selfish and tackless, double whammy.
Heather @ bizewife says
Thankfully I live in NYC and there isn’t much car envy. I love posting my shoe collections because to me, it is like a work of art. Yes, an expensive work of art, but still. That said, I have never posted any of my possessions or experiences to 1) encourage jealousy and a rat race amongst my “friends”*; or 2) to get approval for what I have.
Why can’t people share because they are proud of what they have or do. Ugh!
*Friends appears in quotes because you really have to question if someone is a friend if your goal in life is to make the jealous.
Perfectly said Heather! I think that’s why humblebrag exists. I want to share my accomplishments sometimes but I’m too afraid of the backlash whereas some others live to share in an effort to create jealousy. It’s just how we are now in 2017.
Budget on a Stick says
We are guilty of posting (stupid) purchases back when we were pre-FI journey. After we found the FI path I almost completely stopped posting on Facebook.
It really is the Joneses social media.
It doesn’t stop at buying things but extends to having kids. “Friends” are going to feel compelled to have kids because others are. That wasn’t the case for us but often hear others bring up thinking about having kids because their friends are.
I am guilty of that too! Before FI I posted food and house (petty now that I look back at my timeline). I’m a changed woman now!!
OH OH: if it’s meme-d it’s truth.
I mean, right?!?!
Mr. Freaky Frugal says
I’m pretty good at dealing with FB and comparing myself to others. I’ve always been unconventional and I just don’t give a crap what most others think of my lifestyle anymore.
I do get slightly jealous of people that FIREd at a younger age than I did. I could have done better if Mr. Money Mustache had been around when I was younger.
I knew FB poster are putting a positive spin on things, but, wait, did you just say selfies are sometimes touched up? And here I thought all the beautiful women are on FB. 😆
Of course you’re unconventional! That’s why you’re FIRE’d! xP
Everything’s touched these days, it’s like putty after it’s been through a round of 1st graders.
LOL “Everyone in the free world seemed like they had it all figured out and I was at home playing Neopets on a dial-up modem.” Are you me?
If I wanted 40 likes on a picture, I would just pay for some advertising. Costs less! 😛 Thanks for sharing your personal social media finance fail! Hahaha it gave me a good laugh! At least you have a great way of making money off of even a social media based purchase…maybe Janelle can rent out her car on Getaround to make some money back! 😛
I’m so curious what are people’s real financial situations. I know I know, maybe I’m being too nosy. I think I’m just more curious what percent of people are -really- in a state of trying to keep up! Some people are good with their money/great travel hackers, so I can never tell!
It took FOREVER to load the Neopet wheels. Gimme my faerie paintbrush!!!
I thought Janelle and her family were average, normal people. They had kids, two (three) cars, both employable college graduates. But they have a crazy debt load, PEW research could have saved the effort and just interviewed Janelle’s family for the same data points!
I was more of a Meerca Chase addict…and that potato counting game. Basically played a lot of games because you only had to load once, and my family was using the free Netzero tier for the LONGEST time…ugh! But…#frugal I never figured out how to level up my paintbrushes :'(
Hey, hey Jing – I’m rich in Neopets 😉 I’ll give you some paintbrushes haha. I had so much coin, I sold it for REAL coins on eBay. $1 million NPs for $5 real dollars hahaha.
Adriana @MoneyJourney says
I’m still trying to understand the concept of getting into debt just to brag about it.. wow!
I really hope I won’t offend anyone with this, but I believe the majority of people who feel the need to brag on social media (about a new car, lavish vacation or even buying new shoes) need some form of validation from others because they can’t get it in “real life”. That’s not OK.
Also, you can probably use soy sauce as an ingredient for salted cupcakes (or muffins).. I’ll have to check that out 😀
I completely agree Adriana! And if it does offend somebody that just means it’s totally true because you hit a nerve ?
Oh boy, that first case study was crazy. Although I’m surprised she admitted to the regret because I’m sure she didn’t want the other person (her rival) to know about it. Social media is great to catch up with old friends and family members to see what’s going on but so often it’s about showing off and getting Likes. I’ve been avoiding FB for partly this reason. I’m a frugal person and pretty disciplined with spending but I won’t lie…I can get Facebook Envy scrolling through posts of friends buying stuff and going on exotic vacations!
It was over the span of a year so I think they just ended up blocking / un-friending each other probably. I don’t know the deets but I appreciated her honestly at the very least!
Facebook Envy is totally a thing! New post idea! 😀
Hey I didn’t know soy sauce was an ingredient for cupcakes, I need to try that…hahaha.
That’s crazy what facebook does to people. The urge to compare with others really pushes you when you see them posting pictures and their status of how nice their situation is and you want match that by any means even if it damages your financial situation. You can’t have that mindset, just do whats good for you and don’t worry about what others are doing.
Nicely put Kris!
Mrs. Adventure Rich says
I absolutely love this post. Other than our blog FB page (which I run through my husband’s FB profile), I haven’t been on FB since I deleted my account in 2014 (at age 24!). I was finding myself comparing our life to pictures, getting depressed and getting annoyed with others for their Beachbody or MLM posts. The final straw was one night when Mr. AR and I were enjoying a date night and I kept thinking “I should take a pic of this to share on Facebook”. Suddenly, I realized I was missing out on the lovely evening by thinking about trying to take a picture showing how great it was! (WTF!?!?) There are times I miss the connections, but overall, I’m really happy that I made the move to get off FB.
“I was finding myself comparing our life to pictures, getting depressed and getting annoyed with others for their Beachbody or MLM posts.”
YEAH! And those MLM body wrap things…why are you paying 1000% mark up for SARAN wrap??!?
I’ve actually un-followed most of my connections on my personal FB page. I just couldn’t keep up with it and it didn’t really make much impact on my life in terms of what was being posted. One triggering mechanism was if someone had three or more posts back to back to back, lol.
Mrs. MFB says
I can totally relate this. A lot that goes out to my facebook feed are braggarts who seem to have plenty of money eating here and there, vacationing like money is overflowing. But some of them I personally know are really just pretenders, faking a perfect life on facebook but the exact opposite in real life. I even ask one friend why the hell all her posts are public and her pathetic reply was to get more likes, loves, etc.
Well, facebook has plenty of advantages too like connecting with far-off family and friends, marketing stuff and many others. However, not all that is posted on facebook are what it is in face value.
Thanks Mrs. MFB!!! I learned Facebook’s face value the hard way. I’ve just high-jacked my husband’s Facebook to connect with his family instead of my Facebook which is just food pictures and braggy “I did this” stories.
Dave @ Married with Money says
“Dollars per like” is a hilarious, and sad, way to look at things. It really does make you think though.
I like sharing stuff every now and then, but I never do it to impress…I don’t really care what other people think. I guess that’s what sets us PF bloggers apart. 🙂
Awesome post and a great read for anybody who’s a bit too into social media and appearances!
Thanks Dave! 🙂
Wow, thank you for this good post, Lily!
I am guilty of taking everything people posts on Facebook at face value and doing the comparison game. While I don’t spend money just to prove I can ‘afford’ it, I do have the occasional pity party at how ordinary my life is compared to other people. What I need to remember is that people makes the best of what they have, instead of having the best. #blessed ?
That’s the correct mindset Ms. M! ✌️
Ms. Frugal Asian Finance says
I was just appalled at the Janelle story. Does it really happen in real life? Someone just got themselves into a $20k debt just to get more than 100 likes on Facebook? Seriously. I don’t want to be judgmental, but I will be.
I too used to look at people’s photos on Facebook and get a bit envious sometimes (i.e. trips to Europe, new houses). But now that I have a family of my own and am happy with what I have, I don’t even care to check Facebook that often anymore. I hope people can grow out of the Facebook hype and just live their real lives a little.
P.S. Is it you in the Pinterest image? :p
I can tell you the full story on Twitter or WeChat! It wasn’t just the likes but they wanted the lifestyle as well. I grew out of my Facebook hype too! It’s part of growing up 🙂
Lol!! No it’s some random girl!! Not even Asian!!! LOL! Maybe I should use my own pictures, more original hehe.
Heather @ bizewife says
I so agree with growing out of it. I know that FB is doing better than ever and consistently adding subscribers, but I don’t know how. The utility has changed for me over the years as the site kept changing functions. I used to just want to go on and see friends’ weddings or babies, plus get a little news. Now I see posts from like 4 people (despite having a huge friends list) about the same stuff.
Yes! It was better back before they updated their interface when Facebook still had a “real” feel to it. I’m totally not sure if I’m making sense but it’s just nostalgia at 2AM 🙂
Ms. Raggedly Rich says
This is exactly why I use Facebook for (mostly) job-related things. I put up posts on shows I’m working on as a resume thing, but now I use my private instagram account as a photo journal of sorts.
When my ex and I broke up, I told the handful of people I cared about knowing via phone/text, but he actually put out a PSA on FB about the fact that ‘apparently Facebook doesn’t announce it anymore’ and ‘just wanted everyone to know’ that ‘we’re not together anymore but it was an amicable, agreeable split’. It was really sad to see, actually 😐
That’s so awkward! Someone wanted some sympathyyy.
Chris @ Duke of Dollars says
totally totally and a third TOTALLY agree!
One thing that I didn’t see mentioned outside the fact that no one cares if you’re rich on Facebook, is that people sometimes see it as now I know who to ask when I need help with money.
If you look like you’re ballin on Facebook – then when someone you don’t know well has an emergency, guess who they ask?
OH FLOOF! I forgot to bring that up!!! That’s another great reason, I was thinking about that the other day. If I make my blog public on Facebook – how many people are going to ask me for money?! (And I would have to play Grinch!)
The Luxe Strategist says
Great job on this post, Lily!
I don’t spend much time on Facebook anymore. People mostly over-post about their relationship or kids.
But yeah, I kind of stopped looking at fashion blogs for this reason. It all just felt like a huge brag.
I do have some friends on social media who ALWAYS seem to be on vacation, but you never know their financial status or if they’re awesome with points (like, someone said). Hell, people could say the same about me, but I’m always grubbing for some sort of cost-effective way to get what I want.
Net-net, it’s really hard NOT to get jealous of other people, but at the same time, you never know ppl’s financial stories, bc no one talks about it.
Oh yeah!!! I notice you don’t link to fashion bloggers (naturally I assumed it’s because you are in our PF blogger and we’re a handful). I don’t think showing off on Facebook is bad-bad because sometimes people (like us) are just really good at snooping out a deal. What I don’t like is if they’re not financially able…then it’s just sad. Janelle’s story only happened because she came public about it. Rarely do people do.
Facebook is the root of all evil. No wait, it actually isn’t. It’s just people who have turned it into something it wasn’t necessarily made for. Social media seems to just egg people on, everybody wants to outdo the other person. I definitely have fallen prey to it and felt envious of other people’s lifestyles in the past. But it is a curated life, and actual real life is impossible to curate in such a fashion.
I love your honesty, and I love this post. Thank you for sharing!
Oh Pia, that was absolutely BEAUTIFUL and so true – I wanna smoosh that into the post!
Mustard Seed Money says
I think I read recently that people that post on facebook are least likely to be happy and trying to share lifestyles that they don’t actually live. I can also say that those that I know that share the most on facebook are some of the most miserable people in real life which is unfortunate.
I’ve heard that somewhere too! I’m not surprised at all. Hi Mr. MSM!!!
I almost never post on Facebook. I especially don’t talk about money on that platform. My twitter account is for my blog and that is anonymous. On Facebook I just follow family and people who I went to school with.
Yup, same here Dave!
The Vigilante says
“She paid $712 per Facebook ‘Like.’ Let that sink in.” Perfect. And she’s still not done paying!
I shared this everywhere because this is an EPIDEMIC of…EPIDEMIC proportions. (I’m not good at dramatic writing, ok?)
Have I told you I love you? >_<
Joe @ Average Joe Finance says
Social media has become the new ‘keeping up with the joneses’. As you mentioned Facebook is now a place where everyone tries to one up each other. I think the issue is magnified by the fact that we now connect with so many “friends” that we would not have otherwise. Being able to keep tabs on hundreds of people we went to high school or college with just expands the circle of comparisons, which amplifies our need to maintain a lifestyle we can’t afford. We need to realize that just because someone posts a cool picture doesn’t mean their life is better then ours. Live within your means now and then you can brag in 30 years about how awesome retirement is when everyone else is still paying for lifestyle choices from now.
Yup exactly Joe! And this is only Facebook. There’s the rise of Instagram and Snapchat as well for the even younger millennials.
Wow, I absolutely LOVE this post! I deleted facebook awhile ago for the same reason. It didn’t feel authentic, and it felt like one big brag fest.
I have a good friend that I care about a lot whose husband is a total jerk.
She finally told me how bad he is to her, but I had no idea for the longest time because on facebook you’d think they live in a fairytale!
I tried to gently ask her why she even bothered keeping up the charade, and she said that she doesn’t want to disappoint family/friends who expect them to have a perfect marriage and life.
It’s just not worth the façade. Trying to keep up with other people’s expectations is exhausting (and costly in more ways than one, as you said)!
I’ve heard of that exact same story before Ava! Sadly all too common.
LOVE. THIS. POST! I’ve just discovered you’re blog Lily! Yay for me!
I cut my personal Facebook account last year, haven’t. looked. back.
I’m a minimalist so I wasn’t doing much posting of ‘stuff’ on my page but damn, you are RIGHT on with this post! People overextend themselves financially, just so they can show the new car / jeans / shoes / whatever for 10 seconds on FB. But yep, NO ONE CARES. NO ONE.
Look forward to checking out more of your posts!
Haha I haven’t looked back either…(OK maybe like 3-4x peeks!) but I agree that no one cares!
Olivia @ Birds of a FIRE says
This is an amazing post. Over the last year, I’ve basically stopped posting on FB. It really does feel like a contest, and I don’t want to participate.
When FireBear and I first got together, I thought it was pretty odd he didn’t really use a FB. There was never anything on it!
Ten Bucks a Week says
Indeed you don’t need to chase after fame and keeping up. A lot of what you mention is similar to the ideas in The art of not giving a f…
Financial Orchid says
I stopped using Facebook. It is not worth my time anymore. Fb had their first user decline last quarter since inception.
Ooofff! That is an EXPENSIVE feud. Although I did die just a little laughing that the “we had another baby for Facebook likes” meme… although it might be too close to the truth for comfort in some cases!