When I was a teenager I had a vision of the man that I wanted to marry.
He had to be tall, he had to be smart, he had to be decently good-looking, kind, and he had to come from a good family.
(No one wants nasty in-laws, amirite?)
And most importantly, he needed to be a heavy metal music fan.
(Note: I know now that that’s not the most important thing, duh, I was just being a teenage simpleton.)
I always pictured my husband-to-be to be a brooding but sweet, beautiful, super smart, and..rich xD…with raven black hair and very pale skin.
It’s actually a pretty typical teen girl daydream…if you remove the metalhead part.
Think the young Ville Valo, my first and foremost teenage idol.
I don’t know if you guys know of any millionaire metalheads who is also funny, sweet, tall, smart, good looking AND would tolerate me but I honestly thought I wouldn’t find someone like that. Realistically.
Even in my lofty 16-year-old brain, I was like, “Pffft, I think most metalheads live in their parent’s basement listening to Graveworm.”
No hate there. I was living in the basement, listening to Graveworm, at age 22, waiting for pizza delivery…so that sounds about right.
At 21, I settled to date and stay in a relationship (Mr. Executive) that came with both of us knowing it wasn’t a good fit but both being stubborn about “working it out.”
Yes, Mr. E was smart as hell, handsome, tall, nice guy, great family, everything ticked off on paper. Think the
He was a realistic choice, but not the right one.
Mr. E was close-minded and very stern about being a man’s man. He wasn’t really funny, never had me “rolling on the floor” laughing, partly because he always had to keep a closed, robotic, business composure.
I’m a goof ball if y’all haven’t noticed.
He also had a big but fragile ego, which a lot of the CEO types I find…tend to have. Big salary = big ego = and not a world I wanted to be concerned with.
Because he’s an East Coast ivy league golden boy, he also spoke a lot of bad things about poor people. It was obvious he looked down on them.
Which was very awkward…because…
He was not sensitive about that, and I was 4-5 years younger so I took his judgment to heart.
On the worst days, I felt like a trophy wife…that was all. 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁
It did bother me…looking back…I told him I rather jump off a bridge than
(Just to clarify – Mr. Executive is an amazing human being, his friends adore him/follow him from company to company. He’s moral, strong, innovative, IQ out the wazoo, a natural leader. I’m just ranting about our relationship – NOT HIM as a person.)
The Gods Took Pity
Sadly, I doubted in finding an open-minded metalhead Prince Charming who was OK with me putting nail polish on him, someone a tiny bit more sensitive to issues, someone without an ego to constantly guard, willing to pull jokes/make fun of themselves…and someone to watch Drag Queen shows together.
Bonus points for being frugal and money savvy.
:\ I mean think about that… I mean??? What are the chances of that…in a guy???
Plus all the typical Girl Reqs I mentioned above and thennnnn….they had to be able to withstand my annoying, emotionally
And all the odd things that come with being the husband of mine…you’d have to be a superhero or something.
Related: How I Won The Husband Lottery
*Warning, awkward teenage selfie*
Suprisssssssseeeeeeeee curveball! I did MEET MY HEROOO! And that’s my husband.
All by chance, I wasn’t even looking, goddammit this is like a Beyonce song!!!
When I first saw my husband and my first reaction was, “HOLY COW, what a beautiful guy —
He told me his first reaction was (and I quote)…“Why would a hot girl want to talk to m—- SHUT UP BRAIN DON’T RUIN A GOOD THING.”
My initial thought was literally, “Oh it’ll never work, our timing will never be right. Next life.”
When I met him I instantly knew — and this sounds so cliche — but I immediately knew that we were meant to be together and that we would be good together.
It was a very, very strong “this is it” feeling.
Which I completely denied.
I was dating Mr. E!!!! So duh, I didn’t dare pursue it.
I was actually trying to hustle off MY
Good thing they didn’t click haha.
Johnny Depp once said if you are with someone and you fell in love with someone else…go be with that 2nd someone because if you are really in love with the first person, you wouldn’t be in love with the second person.
And you may totally disagree (or agree) with that Depp quote, but I personally found that quote to be true even though initially I disagreed/was in denial about it.
Then stuff happened. Long story.
It all happened so fast
Mr. E and I split.
I couldn’t believe it but less than 48 HOURS LATER, new boyfriend acquired and (eventual) husband and I were officially a thing.
I wasn’t even sad about Mr. E for enough time…because I knew the man in front of me was the one for me within 10 minutes of meeting him. It was instinct. A woman should always trust her intuitions and I trusted mine.
Some Married Years Later…
Hubby and I got hitched fast haha.
This is my husband explaining what it’s like being married to me
“Like being married to a woman who is attractive, charming, funny and intelligent – you are soul mates and everything is perfect, right? She is the perfect woman. You could not ask for a more better woman in the world. You love her, and she loves you.
Only she has one flaw; every 5 minutes she punches you in the face…for no reason. Even at night you wake up, she punches you in the face, you recover, get 4 minutes 38 seconds of sleep, then she punches you in the face, and you love her.”
That was when we were less than a year into our marriage. The first year was the hardest one so far, there were some growing pains (like deciding to invest).
We’ve been married for 3 years now, things are 99% groovy, and I still laugh out loud whenever I see that quote again. He makes me LMAO so much, every single day.
And I’ll love him always and forever………as long as Ville Valo isn’t at my doorstep xD then we’ll talk.
*I’m still a firm believer in that feeling…you will know the One is the One. It could be subconscious or just a logical calculation of personalities but it’s real.
*You know it’s not right, they know it’s not right. But moving forward alone is scary enough to keep a relationship going way past the expiration date. We’re all afraid of being alone to a degree.
*To me, love is easy and love should be easy. Love should never be hard. Marriage is the one that should be a lil hard 🙂
Sorry, this was such a rushed post…I skipped over a lot. I didn’t think it was going to be so long in my head. What do you think of Depp’s quote? Who was your teen dream crush?!
Ms. Frugal Asian Finance says
Woo juicy! :p
It was a bit rushed indeed, but it’s such a sweet post. Jared looks SO tall! You guys just sound so cute together!
I never thought Mr. FAF was the one for me. I even thought I’d never date him lol It wasn’t until I was forced to sit in the car for hours with him for driving lessons that I realized he wasn’t that bad lol 5 years and still going strong (most of the time 😉 )
I know, I realized 1/2 way through that it was going to be like 5 posts if I explained it allll. What was your dating history before Mr. FAF?
Lol driving lessons omg xD so cute!!
I love how we were just talking about this a few hours ago and then you posted this. I really want to meet Jared one day!! You two are perfect <3
Yeah I half copied and pasted our chat so I have something to post – multi-tasking!! Maybe Jared can be at Fincon next year
So teenage you wanted to marry a vampire, basically? Hahaha I totally wanted the brooding dark haired/pale fellow too, that is until I laid eyes on Mr. ThreeYear (a total tall, dark, and handsome hottie!). So YES, I agree with you that when you know, you know. Glad it all worked out so well for you, because a happy marriage makes life pretty awesome, I must say, 15 years in. And it just gets better with time, especially when there are no real money issues to deal with!
Not to perv on your husband but YES oh I remember thinking DANNG Laurie, you got an A&F model as a hubby hahahah
Angela @ Tread Lightly Retire Early says
Okay, are you me?? Seriously though – I need to tell you my full relationship backstory with my husband one of these days. And I’m totally with you on that Depp quote.
TELL!! Write a post 😀 I’d love to hear it.
Abigail @ipickuppennies says
I think we all have very definite ideas as teens about who we’ll end up with. And we’re usually dead wrong. I always fell hard for short brunettes (and all my famous actor/musician crushes were all brunettes, come to think of it). My three longest relationships (including a 10-year marriage) have been two blondes and a redhead. So… Yeah. I also was sure I’d end up with someone who spoke more than one language. Alas, that has never come to fruition either.
Maybe this next time around I’ll find a hot brunette polyglot!
Haha you’d never know!
NZ Muse says
Lol I wanted Trent reznor or Chris Cornell ?
I thought he was my rebound after my first real relation and yet here we are…
You guys are perfect for each other!
Haha people asked if Jared was a rebound — gosh I never thought of him as one — and still don’t! Thanks miss NZ 🙂
What a great back story of how you and Mr Hippo came to be an item.
I’m glad that you realized that Mr E was not the one for you. A lot of girls would have grinned and bear it and wind up marrying him when of things did not mesh and based solely on his social status. You definitely are not the person who would be satisfied being a trophy wife. It is much better when both of you are on equal footing and combine to form something greater than its individual parts.
Both are very lucky to have each other as it really does seem like you are meant to be
Thank you xrayvsn!! “You definitely are not the person who would be satisfied being a trophy wife.” <- because the balance of power is so unhealthy! Yup!
You know how they say ‘Never meet your idols’? This applies x1000 to Ville Valo. Sorry to burst your bubble but he was the worse EVER when I met him at the House of Blues in Los Angeles. It didn’t help that he was trailed by an obviously infatuated Bam Margera. I won’t say any more other than to say, his stardom is a fluke and way way more than he could handle. He was not up for the task.
Aww what happened?! Hahahahah everybody knows Bam’s crazy in love with Ville rofl!
Mr. Groovy says
Me love this post. Met Mrs. Groovy in a bar that erupted into one of the nastiest brawls I ever saw. As soon as a guy got knocked out right by our table, I knew she was the one.
Thanks Mr. G 😛 I need to hear more of your story meeting Mrs. G
Isn’t it amazing how long we will spend trying to make a bad relationship work? I dated my ex for 17 years before I decided it was time to leave. 3 years later I’m still happily single and know i’ll be ready when the right guy comes along!
Ember @ An Intentional Lifestyle says
I am reading old posts and I just couldn’t miss a love story!! I fell for my hubs fast and we’ve been together 11 yrs and married 9. Real love stories are always better than movies, although yours could totally be a cute movie! ?